Getting To Know Me!

I am 23 years old, but in my soul, I am the ripe age of 38! I haven't had the easiest life (Who Has?!) but if all my struggles have made me who I am then I am EXTREMELY GRATEFUL for them...as weird as that sounds! :)

I just recently quit my "job" as a Victim Advocate for many reason's but mostly to become a stay at home mom.

I was the Prevention and Outreach Manager but I mainly worked with Teens and Children who have fallen victim to Sexual Abuse, and I also was the Prevention Educator for my county. I would run support groups in Middle Schools and High Schools for girls and boys who were wanting help in healing from Sexual Abuse. I would also do workshops on Consent, Healthy Relationships, Living in a Rape Culture, Preventing Sexual Abuse, Understanding the Dynamics of Violence, Domestic Violence, ID Theft.....To Schools, Parents, Care Givers, Victims...etc. PLUS 1,000 other things! :)

This "job" (I put in quotes because it was SO MUCH MORE than a Job) was the most amazing thing I have ever stumbled upon, and can I say, my calling! My life changed in more ways then can be described! I loved the combination of laughing and joking about the culture we live in, making sexuality fun and excited, and the heavy stuff.

After working there for over 4 years I got overwhelmed with a few things...

1) Where I worked as a wee bit messed up...

2) I was pregnant with my 2nd baby and felt like dying... lol

3) Having babies of my own and being surrounded by violence and abuse 24/7 was getting way overwhelming. I felt like I couldn't trust anyone, I was paranoid that somewhere, someone was going to hurt my babies.....

4) Again, Having to work with precious kiddos and adults who have been sexually assaulted, all day, then take a response phone home for anyone in the county to call when they were in crisis (mostly Domestic Violence, Rapes, AND creepy men who wanted to Jack Off to your voice), periodically have to go to the ER when someone was raped or abused, and come home and just go to sleep (didn't happen)! When I would come home I would just stare at my precious Baby all night hoping no harm would ever come to her! Some Days I could handle it, even joke about what I did, and some days it was super hard!

5) Last thing that sometimes got to me, was when I was young I was sexually abused by my step dad, and I am not going to lie, I handle that very well, but sometimes hearing victims stories would definitely trigger what  I experienced. There definitely is a continuum when it comes to healing from sexual abuse, some fall apart, and some are rarely affected by it. I am one where I am rarely affected by it, but when it hits, IT HITS! lol

In the fall I am going BACK to school to finish up becoming a teacher! :)

I know people say it all the time but.... I LOVE BEING A MOM! I love every single thing about it! I am much, much more tired then I ever was working full time AND being a mom, but of course, it is totally worth it. These girls of mine are so funny I smile every day, I think they are genius', they love to learn and play, and they sleep well which is a total plus LOL! I love making mess's and cleaning mess's every day, any day! :) They make my world go round!!